I was sitting in a corner of a cafe, trying to study. Two girls sat at the table next to me, discussing their romantic lives. I grabbed my headphones and tried to ignore them, but they were talking so loud, I figured I may as well listen. Matters of the heart arouse my curiosity.
They were complaining to each other about their boyfriends. Their language was strong and these boys would have cringed if they heard this conversation. It didn't make sense to me. First, shouldn't they be discussing these issues with their boyfriends? Next, the words they used for the men in question were just disrespectful.
A book I recently read illustrated the difference in male-female perception and listening styles. The author used pink headphones for women and blue for men. If you want to understand your man, he said, as a woman, you need to switch your pink headphones for blue ones. Men need respect, women need love.
Should men love if they are not respected? Should a woman respect an unloving man? In a balanced relationship, these attributes should flow mutually. Maybe it starts with clear communication and stating what you need. Men are practical that way, if you tell us what you need, we tend to listen. It's figuring out what women are not saying that gets tricky.
I pushed my seat back, slipped my imaginary pink headphones into my bag and walked past the girls. "Go talk to your men, you two," I said. Silently.
