Girls want to talk it out.
Guys want to be left alone.
What's the solution?
The question, "What about me?" rears it's ugly head.
The solution is, quite simply, being considerate enough to say, "What about you?"
Oh, it would help if you were careful with your dating choices in the first place!
The Back Story:
I know a couple that recently ended an on-off relationship. The girl was distraught. The guy 'needed space.' A few weeks later, the girl was still texting him, asking innocent questions, in an attempt to get closure. This made him all the more frustrated and he backed off completely and started snapping at her. Is that bad behavior on the guy's part?
The situation could be reversed. If the girl breaks off the relationship, the guy might still try to call her, send her gifts and show up unannounced at her place in an attempt to win her back. In which case, the girl's friends start referring to him as 'the stalker.'
Neither is wrong or right. It's natural to want to hold on to something you're not ready to let go of yet. In my friend's case, the guy had decided that the relationship was over. The girl wasn't ready to let go, yet. In such situations, guys prefer silence, they require space to process their thoughts. Usually, they're thinking, "She's a great girl, but I'm no longer attracted to her. I don't want to commit to loving her and instead of leading her on, I should end this now." So, his mind's made up and lack of communication allows him to detach from the relationship.
The girl just wanted to talk things through, clarify the situation, understand where she went wrong. She wanted to ease off the relationship slowly. But, women need to understand that when a guy asks for space, badgering him will push him to the brink of turning hostile.
Ideally, men would be understanding enough to talk the situation through, keeping the woman's feelings in mind. Ideally, women would rely on support from their girl friends and leave the guy alone.
If both parties understand the needs of the other, break ups would be lot less painful. It is possible to be civil and friendly after a period of no contact. It allows the man and the woman to heal, learn from their mistakes and move on without the baggage caused by messy break ups.
