It is impolite to turn down a request for a dance at a Salsa club. Exceptions apply to women with a valid reason to doubt their safety or the sexual misconduct of a male. Men have no excuses. That could be unfortunate on occasion.
Last night, I was out dancing with a group of friends. The advantage of a night out with friends is the constant supply of dance partners. No need to dance with strangers. Unless you are requested for a dance. In between songs, a woman tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I would dance with her. She was an attractive woman in a black dress. I was surprised none of the other men in the club were asking her to dance. In fact they were shy when she approached them. We started dancing. Half way through the song, it occurred that maybe, just maybe, she was a he. Was I actually dancing with a man dressed as an attractive lady? I maintain a good distance from my partners and focus more on their dance form than trying to note the presence of an Adam's apple. In the low light, it was difficult to tell and I restrained from staring.
A thousand years ago, it was perfectly natural for men to embrace each other, lean on each other's chest, hold hands and to be publicly affectionate. That is still true in some cultures, camaraderie among men. While it is perfectly natural to see this display of physical comfort among women, men are considered pansy for showing what is referred to as, 'bromance.' Displays of affection for a brother.
How did the shift occur, when did men get uncomfortable hugging and kissing each other on the cheek? Is this a backlash to society's discomfort of men who are openly gay? The pendulum has swung to the other extreme, where straight men showing brotherly affection are mocked.
I wasn't uncomfortable dancing with this lady. Based on my suspicion, I felt compassion, like I was somehow honoring this individual by just holding her/his hands and twirling on the dance floor. Is a man's sensuality tied to how comfortable he is with both sexes?
As I walked out of the club, I stopped to say good night to the mystery lady. She might just be an attractive woman. I don't really care. She's a person, made in God's image.
