A friend recently gave me a copy of 'Why Men Like Bitches,' and asked for my opinion. The title of the book can be misleading. The basic premise is that nice girls get looked over by the boys. The definitions of 'nice' and 'bitchy' are slightly sketchy, although the ideas suggested really work in creating attraction. The book contains a list of 'nice' behavioural patterns in women that repel men. The author suggests a seemingly selfish attitude in women that looks out for number one. It apparently is attractive to men.
I laughed.
Not because it was hilariously funny or silly, but because most guys read similar books written for men. A popular dating coach for men famously quoted, "Attraction isn't a choice," expounding that it is possible for any man to attract women, with the right behavioural changes. Similarly, the above mentioned book says the same for women looking to attract men.
I agree, 'attraction isn't a choice,' but love is. Love cannot be learned or earned through strategies, but through practice. You have to... just love. So, let me debunk all the methodologies, even though they work for a short while and instead point to a way that is way tougher and yet, lot simpler. Be unselfish, generous and patient, have an interesting life, exercise, look your best and live with integrity. And always smell good.
Stuck on my wall is a hand-written note which says, 'a man (or woman), should offer stability while not being boring. Exciting without being chaotic. A man should be respected for his accomplishments, admired for his poise and liked for his warmth, kindness and generosity. It all comes down to developing a good personality mix that can flourish in a variety of environments.'
