I need to share something with you. An interesting ten minutes of my evening that I feel should be recorded on this blog.
My adrenaline is still pumping. How I escaped being attacked by two strangers is still foggy in my head. I was walking home along my usual route - along a busy road when I heard someone asking me for money. I looked around, shook my head and kept walking. The voice followed me and appeared before me in the form of a young man with loose-fitting clothes, a white cap and questionable breath. The voice had two companions - a woman smoking a cigarette and a mean-looking, tall bloke.
Deja vu. I'd been here before. Late at night, accosted by two thugs asking for money. That was nearly 8 years ago. On that occasion, I distracted them, ran like a coward and hid out of sight for a long time while my would-be-attackers scoured the streets, shouting and cursing.
Tonight was different. I stood my ground and calmly asked why they wanted my money. The woman just walked away, I guess she didn't want to witness another innocent stranger being bashed up. The first man, with clenched fists threatened to beat me up if I didn't give them money. He got into position to land his first punch. Again, I asked why they needed money. The second man cursed and said they were hungry.
"I'll feed you, I have no problem buying you food. But, I won't give you money - on principle, it's not something I am comfortable with."
This seemed acceptable to the second man who somehow convinced his friend to take my offer. So, the three of us walked into a nearby shop, where I announced to the Asian owner that the men would get a couple of plain hamburgers, please. On me.
I then started a dialogue with the men. Brock, the guy who was ready to bust my lips, looked at me apologetically and thanked me for buying them dinner. His friend was equally thankful. His words - "Everyone walks past us, we are just hungry and want some food, we're homeless, you know." I told him I understood. Then we all shook hands, smiled our farewell and I was on my way home again.
A hungry man will most likely resort to violence to meet his basic need. Money often flexes its ugly muscles in a power struggle. I had a choice tonight - either buy my new friends food and willingly part with some of my money, or have all of it grabbed from me and then deal with my blood on the street.
The next time you're in a confrontational situation, try addressing the need of the other person. It's not about fixing needs, but just identifying them. It could turn out to be the difference between a clenched fist and a warm, friendly handshake.
