In a way, this is a tribute to her strength. For the quiet strength of every woman who has suffered a broken heart due to a man's callousness.
For a word that gets bandied around candidly in our society, it is difficult to attach a clear definition to love. Statements that indicate an affinity, such as - I love my ipod, I love my new car, I love your hair, shoes, his style, that song, etc. rob the word of its original intent.
Eugene Peterson's translated description of love in The Message:
... no matter what I say, what I believe and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.Romantic love should be no different. But often, what we hear people say when they claim to be in love is, "I'm infatuated," or "I'm obsessed." It's usually the obsessions that end in what seems to be an uncontrollable tearing up of the heart. Unhealthy love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others, isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies.
Real love is a choice and it takes years of sacrifice to build. If you feel like you cannot control your feelings for someone, you're attracted to them. It's not love. Your best option is to spend time getting to know them better, rather than being obsessed with the thought of being with them. Patience is highly undervalued.
So what happens if the person you're crazily in like with decides to be with someone else?
If you can't be happy for someone you love when they're happy and content without you, maybe you don't love them? Maybe you like them, a lot. Love can let go. It's a gut wrenching concept, but I'm willing to explore it through its tricky mazes.
Let me unpack this from a guy's perspective. We may seem confident and strut around like alpha males, but in the matters of love, we are just as clueless as the silly (cute) panda that sits around eating grass all day. Okay, maybe a little more clued on than a panda. But, it's unfair to unload expectations on a guy when he hasn't even got a clue that a woman likes him. And ladies, trust me, you could send out all the right signals and still not get a response from a guy even if he's crazy about you. Some guys just don't get it.
In conclusion, let me say a word in the defense of my sex. Men generally take a lot of verbal abuse for acting on their whims. It's easy to dish out criticism against men, but not fair, until you understand the full range of circumstances under which a man acts. In the proverbial sense, we are still warriors, seeking truth and justice, wielding weapons of honor and integrity (some of us?) In our attempts at slaying the dragons of rejection and scaling the high walls of feminine uncertainty, we make mistakes and get shut down at the castle gates. But we never stop trying if only dragons and towers separate us from the woman we want to be with. Please note the singular and yes, I sadly admit that's not the norm among men.
What is shameful is when men exploit women and manipulate situations through practiced tricks. Using techniques that mess women up, only to gain their affection for a short period of time. Of course, women are naturally attracted to the bad boy, the challenge, the mysteriously seductive stranger, the charming smooth talker. It is so. The rules of the game.
If love is a game and there are no set rules, then all's fair. Except when the result is a broken heart.